3 Strategies to Shift Your Mindset and Find Balance
Self-care means a lot more these days than getting a manicure and pedicure.
The need to be present with myself has garnered more attention. Present not being occupied, but being present and allowing myself to slow down by doing nothing. I’m slowly reaching 40 and the realization that I am spending less and less time alone with myself is jaw-dropping.
I remember being the naive girl that was sad when I saw others eating alone. As if the quiet contentment of enjoying a cup of coffee over breakfast was a sense of hopelessness. When seeing others at the movie my dismal look towards them was due to the fact that they “had to” go to the movies alone.
As if there were no other options. I’ve slowed down to do a lot more than “smell the roses.” I’ve slowed down to find peace, to hear myself, and to spend time with myself. As much as I value the time with my family, my kiddos, and the work that I do, I have learned to also ensure I do the same for myself. As we press into a new year I believe there is no better time than now for such reflection.
Below are the top 3 strategies I use to live intentionally and find balance. Try them and let me know what you think.
1. Organization
I always say I am not a balancing act and in order to ensure I’m not just living, but at peace while living; I need to be organized. My husband and I have six children together who all seem to increase their extracurricular activities and needs as they become older. For organization of our appointments, extra-curricular activities, and special family time I use a wall calendar and stick it to our dry erase board that takes up our dining room wall space. This tool is supportive of my own sanity and helps the family as well. Especially the husband (unfortunately I couldn’t get him to accept my google invite and shared calendar times). This way I just haphazardly tell him – “Oh it was on the calendar, you didn’t check it?” or, it offers a good way to question him “Did you put that on the calendar I don’t remember seeing it.” All jokes taken in stride. Living intentionally and with balance creates peace for your entire household. So when I get organized we all are getting organized and learning strategies to be successful at this thing called life.
For my own personal calendar for work as a School Social Worker and Therapist with another agency, I utilize my Passion Planner. As a Life Coach and Strategist, I absolutely LOVE the time blocking within the planner. There is space to create my goals and follow-through and free space within the planner that allows me to actually plan. This tangible planner is helpful as I have separate jobs and responsibilities, each with its own tracking and data-keeping methods electronically. I love that this planner helps me to organize everything in one physical space.
2. Meditation
It’s the peace for me. It’s writing in my journal on a daily basis and providing time for reflection. I wake up in the morning reaching for my essential oils of lavender or balance to start my day. These are my tools. They are the things that bring me peace and offer me the freedom to live my life with intentionality. They empower me with an emotional and mental strategy. I believe without a strategy we become stuck. Without a strategy when life gets hard, we revert back to what naturally feels good for us, even if it’s toxic. Sometimes it is okay to pull the weighted blanket (which I love) over our heads, calm down and reset. But “burying our head in sand” with no strategy to get up and push forward, is not peaceful.
3. Wellness Strategy
Living life intentionally is a mindset transformation about wellness. For some of us we don’t begin to think about wellness until we are quite past our twenties. Why is that? I’m glad you asked! There is a space in our brains called “the prefrontal cortex.” This is what researchers have found out about it: “The development and maturation of the prefrontal cortex occurs primarily during adolescence and is fully accomplished at the age of 25 years. The development of the prefrontal cortex is very important for complex behavioral performance, as this region of the brain helps accomplish executive brain functions.”
Our executive function and self-regulation skills are the mental processes that enable us to plan, focus attention, remember instruction and juggle multiple tasks successfully. It is not fully activated until after 25! We forge ahead oftentimes not having a secure grasp or understanding of our own executive functioning skills. Wellness is our executive functioning; Living intentionally with purpose, vision, and a strategy.
Daily I plan, focus my attention, and remember what my strategy is by creating a vision board. I check my strategy daily. I ensure my wellness lines up and I am not damaging myself. Damage can be burn out, toxic stress, and lack of peace and freedom. I made up my mind a few years ago that I wanted to live a life of peace and freedom NOW! Not a five-year plan or 10-year plan from now, I need it now! So my wellness plan has included hiring a life coach, going to therapy, and getting accountability. If you too are looking for a life and wellness coach now is your opportunity to book your clarity call with me. If you are looking for a Therapist I have loved the testimonials behind this National locator for therapists Better Help. I have built an online platform and community, Balanced Vision Wellness Boutique, which provides, tools resources, and a community of other women who are striving to live intentionally while navigating the roles we are in, all while showing up for ourselves in purpose, vision, and wellness. I would love to hear your story, see your plan, and get to know you. Until then keep showing up and forging ahead as your most authentic, unapologetic, intentional self.
I’m rooting for you sis!
Tessa
Engage*Inspire*Empower
